I hate Lulu

[Chris]

For so many reasons:

1.) Thinks she is so young and sexy

2.) Can't sing

3.) Is ashamed of Eurovision

4.) Got into an argument with my dad in the 60s.

5.) Would duet with a horse in order to get back into the Top 5 (Those who do are generally forced into it by their management whom they subsequently sack e.g. Ronan).

6.) Publicity whore.

[Dudie]

But she has had a brilliant face lift (allegedly)

[Chris]

Dudie said:

But she has had a brilliant face lift (allegedly)

I know, my Mum (a true Luophile) bangs on about how great it is.

[LuckyStar]

Christian said:

4.) Got into an argument with my dad in the 60s.

And you're still bitter because your dad possibly lost. TO A GIRL!

HA!

[Chris]

La said:

And you're still bitter because your dad possibly lost. TO A GIRL!

HA!

No, he made her move her car when she wanted him to reverse down a one way street. She had to back down. Stupid cow.

It's not that though, she just annoys me for some reason. In much the same way as Twiggy and David Jason do.

[zilch]

I hate Lulu too. She latches onto every boyband possible like some demented banshee.
Way back in the 60's she got herself in with the Monkees/Bee Gees and then hopped on the Take That, Ronan and Westlife wagons when she fancied a career boost. She's a horrible woman and she dresses like she's still 18 - which she ain't...

[Deleted]

Stunning tits though, for an OAP.

[Chris]

Mr said:

Stunning tits though, for an OAP.

You can't knock the tits or facelift but it is another reason to hate her. On her dreadful 'audience with...' she was asked by a celeb guest how she kept so young and she listed 'good food' and 'good sex' amongst others but she cunningly neglected to mention a great plastic surgeon.

[audrey potnoodlehorne]

She is rather embarrassing as a human being now, but she was the perfect 60s pop star. "Love Loves to Love Love" is splendidness itself.

[Smudge]

Christian said:

No, he made her move her car when she wanted him to reverse down a one way street. She had to back down. Stupid cow.

It's not that though, she just annoys me for some reason. In much the same way as Twiggy and David Jason do.

Your parents sound like they get cooler and cooler.

I dislike Twiggy as well. I'm still convinced she was behind the death of a Bee Gee. I hate it when people who grow old and lose their appeal feel the need to re-invent themselves as one of these new-age, retarded hippies. I hate it when they always put her on GMTV so she can prattle on about her Cliff- 'did they or didn't they?'. A reference to the ambiguity surrounding their "friendship" or a reference to their continually plastic-looking faces?

I'm not opposed to plastic surgery, infact, I actively encourage it but not to the point where it makes a 60 year old woman look like a really fucked up thirty five year old after years of Class A drug abuse.

She is convinced she is still down with the youth of today because she managed to wangle her way onto a Take That record a decade ago. And as for Ronan...MEH! Lulu is basically an old, slightly more simpering version of Ronan but under a really pathetico stage name.

To a very small degree, I do like Lulu, but mostly I hate her and I rue the day on behalf of Chris's dad, when he didn't remember to reverse his car right over her.

Also, she is a great big whore. It's the only explanation for her still being around. I feel sorry for the poor old bag, she probably has a vagina as wide-set as a clown's pocket.

[drbastard]

The library I work at (a library is where a writer should be) has a system that the Scottish Executive insists upon for records and research. Everytime someone asks a question I have to scan a barcode. Any question will do. So when fat smelly Colin (honestly, the chair he sits at stinks of piss) asked me two dozen questions about fucking Lulu, my arm hurt so much afterwards because of that impish witch and her greatest hits.

[Chris]

Smudge said:

Also, she is a great big whore. It's the only explanation for her still being around. I feel sorry for the poor old bag, she probably has a vagina as wide-set as a clown's pocket.

I reckon she has spent half her life on her back and all the rest of the time trying to get into the papers (on her back). For example, when she 'dated' that poor guy who was in Night and Day and then Hollyoaks. It was really fake.

[flum]

Christian said:

I reckon she has spent half her life on her back and all the rest of the time trying to get into the papers (on her back).

Yes. All successful women are sluts, aren't they?

[Chris]

flum said:

Yes. All successful women are sluts, aren't they?

No, some are though, like Lulu.

Would we call Lulu a success nowadays? Does she not just leech off the achievements of others?

[flum]

Christian said:

No, some are though, like Lulu.

Sorry, I'll change it then.

All successful woman who you dislike are sluts, aren't they.

It doesn't make your views any less twattish.

[Ring My Bell Alyson!]

Can't we all just get along/acknowledge that Sheena Easton is much worse - with her stupid knowingly ironic gay friendly comeback album!

Alyson

[Chris]

flum said:

Sorry, I'll change it then.

All successful woman who you dislike are sluts, aren't they.

It doesn't make your views any less twattish.

However, I can also dislike who ever I wish to dislike without needing your blessing. Thank you for your contribution but excuse me if I say I don't really give care what you think.

[Busted-Obsessive]

Christian said:

However, I can also dislike who ever I wish to dislike without needing your blessing. Thank you for your contribution but excuse me if I say I don't really give care what you think.

I'm sure Lulu feels the same way.
I think she sings very well, not as good as that eurovision girl on her 'audience with...' show but still.
She seems very nice and I hardly think that she is a clown or idiot of pop.

[Chris]

Busted-Obsessive said:

I'm sure Lulu feels the same way.
I think she sings very well, not as good as that eurovision girl on her 'audience with...' show but still.
She seems very nice and I hardly think that she is a clown or idiot of pop.

See I think she has an awful voice and she always mimes. Jessica Garlick is a much better singer yes.

Lulu is evil!

[Dudie]

I've read her autobiography. My mum got it from a second hand stall. It was quite interesting. Especially the bit about her affair with David Bowie and his lovely thighs. You wouldn't really put those two together woudl you? Especially as it was in the days when he looked like Lilly Savage with a mohican wig.

I don't like her voice though to be honest.

[Tim]

Christian said:

See I think she has an awful voice and she always mimes. Jessica Garlick is a much better singer yes.

Jessica touches her bits in gratitude:

[Chris]

Tim said:

Jessica touches her bits in gratitude:

I know she doesn't have much of a career to speak of but I wasn't expecting that much gratitude.

[Candice]

Lulu actually has a pretty good soul/blues voice with that gravelly thing going on. She was kind of marketed badly in the 60s though as a family entertainer and she never really got to do songs that suited her voice (or so she says). The thing that annoys me about Lulu is that whenever she talks about her childhood or tries to make a joke she goes back into her old, real Glasgow accent and then reverts to her mid-Atlantic one when she's talking normally. We're not too keen on that here in Glasgow.

But we still love Lulu more than Sheena Easton who was mentioned a few posts back. When Sheena came back to Glasgow once after living in America for a while she was part of this outdoor pop concert and she started talking to the crowd in an American drawl, forgetting that about 5 years earlier she was lived in a council house in Bellshill. The crowd apparently booed and famously threw bottles at her and I don't think she's returned since.

[flum]

Christian said:

However, I can also dislike who ever I wish to dislike without needing your blessing. Thank you for your contribution but excuse me if I say I don't really give care what you think.

You do realise that you're so far away from the point I was making that you must be suffering from lack of oxygen, which could well explain why your brain is having trouble grasping what I'm saying. It's got nothing to do with who you like or dislike, I'm simply pointing out that to claim that the only way that Lulu could be a success is by sleeping her way to the top is a pathetically misogynistic view to hold and one which should surely have gone the way of the dinosaurs by now.

And that is my final word on the matter.

[Chris]

flum said:

You do realise that you're so far away from the point I was making that you must be suffering from lack of oxygen, which could well explain why your brain is having trouble grasping what I'm saying. It's got nothing to do with who you like or dislike, I'm simply pointing out that to claim that the only way that Lulu could be a success is by sleeping her way to the top is a pathetically misogynistic view to hold and one which should surely have gone the way of the dinosaurs by now.

And that is my final word on the matter.

You seem to be confused amidst your need for over-zealous condemnation. I never pointed out that Lulu has slept around to make her way to the top (Lulu 'on her back' was largely tongue-in-cheek but some people will always misinterpret the tone of a message) . I do believe though that it is sad that she, an ageing woman, feels the need to shout her sexuality crudely from the rooftops in a vain bid to sell records and maintain media exposure. It is sad and it is inherently false.

[Bootie]

Candice said:

.

But we still love Lulu more than Sheena Easton who was mentioned a few posts back. When Sheena came back to Glasgow once after living in America for a while she was part of this outdoor pop concert and she started talking to the crowd in an American drawl, forgetting that about 5 years earlier she was lived in a council house in Bellshill. The crowd apparently booed and famously threw bottles at her and I don't think she's returned since.

Ooh yes, I was there. It was quite unpleasant at the time ( I was but a small child) - but bloody funny when you look back years later.
My pal went to her old school. They still have her picture on the wall. I don't think anyone else famous has ever come from Bellshill. Doesn't stop them resenting her though

[Smudge]

Bootie said:

I don't think anyone else famous has ever come from Bellshill

AHEM! Barry "Sex God" Ferguson and Ally McCoist.

[Chris]

Apparently Sheena Easton earned £4 million in the last year. What does she do?

[Candice]

Bootie said:

Ooh yes, I was there. It was quite unpleasant at the time ( I was but a small child) - but bloody funny when you look back years later.
My pal went to her old school. They still have her picture on the wall. I don't think anyone else famous has ever come from Bellshill. Doesn't stop them resenting her though

Yes I was only about 4 at the time but it's practically urban legend now.

Christian, I read somewhere that Sheena hosts a daytime TV show in Las Vegas and performs there at night in musicals. £4 million is great money when you think of what some successful pop acts here earn on record company hand outs.

Still a far cry from Prince and "Sugar Walls" though....

[audrey potnoodlehorne]

Candice was totally right about Lulu being marketed badly in the 1960s. She was cool as fuck but got pushed into the light entertainment niche from which she has never broken free. Had she not gone down the telly route, she's just be the female Chris Farlowe or something. But talking of accents, her 1960s posh BBC voice was excellent.

I actually like Sheena Easton more as a person, just because she got totally carried away with herself and is quite clearly mad. I'd love to see her make a comeback!