Mike
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Post by Mike on Jul 21, 2004 4:43:30 GMT -5
Not strictly pop, but by God she's a clown. And an idiot.
Making an album so dreary and lifeless it makes you long for Ronan Keating is bad enough. The 'performance' she gave at the Brits with fellow Satan's minion Jamie Cullum and all the musical content of an argument between two pre-menstrual hyenas was worse. But her claim to be some sort of saviour of music, battling the evil that is manufactured pop..... ugh! Don't you just want to smack her one?
Really, why does anyone like her? She gets classed with Dido and Norah Jones as making 'boring' music, but the former has written some genuinely affecting songs (Thank You, White Flag, See The Sun) while the latter has an amazingly beautiful voice, even if her music can be uneventful. Katie Melua makes music that matches her deeply unexceptional voice, and serves no useful purpose except as an antidote to Prozac.
Rant over. I hate her.
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Post by Devil In Your Car on Jul 21, 2004 5:53:08 GMT -5
She makes me want to swallow broken glass. Annoying voice, annoying hair and she's shagging one of the Wombles (or something).
It saddens me to point out that we wouldn't even be having this discussion if it weren't for Terry Wogan who is perhaps more evil than we previously imagined.
Does anyone at Popjustice have the necessary connections to organise one of those celebrity boxing matches between Melua and Winehouse? I'd pay good money to watch that.
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Post by MilkMonitor on Jul 21, 2004 9:35:09 GMT -5
She is dreamy but I agree that her music has absolutely no oomph to it whatsoever. I quite like 'Crawling Up A Hill' though, I must say.
Her performance at the Brits with her little jazz-loving hobbit friend was just wrong.
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Scruffy
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Post by Scruffy on Jul 21, 2004 9:53:29 GMT -5
I hate how everyone raves about how amazing and talented she is when is the most blatantly marketed young girl since Britney.
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Post by PushTheBuena on Jul 21, 2004 10:55:01 GMT -5
Totally agree with everything said. To rope her in with Norah, Dido, Winehouse et al is just glib and lazy. She is held up as a 'real artist' but only wrote two songs on her album and is totally the product of her manager. Her musical direction is by her own admittance an Eva Cassidy tribute act. She's totally derivative and her album is flat and thin. "Mockingbird" is one of the worst songs of the year. Her voice is shrill and has no texture. She says things like "London town" despite being a teenager in the 21st century. She is responsible for the most laughable lyric since Mel C's legendary "home/phone" faux pas, ie "feeling 22, acting 17". She has sold shitloads of "Call Of the Search" while Amy Winehouse struggles with a far superior, far more mature, far more interesting album. She is THE face of the 'old before their time' generation, and represents everything mediocre, derivative, unimaginative and WRONG with today's popular music. To sum up, Melua is complete wank.
Pretty though, non?
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Mike
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Post by Mike on Jul 21, 2004 11:11:54 GMT -5
She has sold shitloads of "Call Of the Search" while Amy Winehouse struggles with a far superior, far more mature, far more interesting album. Amy Winehouse isn't struggling at all. I think her album has done remarkably well given that the singles have all tanked. Plus it's now been shortlisted for the Mercury, providing a likely sales boost. From what I've heard of it though, it has too much of an edge to cross over to Melua-type sales.
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Post by PushTheBuena on Jul 21, 2004 11:25:21 GMT -5
Amy Winehouse isn't struggling at all. I think her album has done remarkably well given that the singles have all tanked. Plus it's now been shortlisted for the Mercury, providing a likely sales boost. From what I've heard of it though, it has too much of an edge to cross over to Melua-type sales. Oh. Hurrah! The singles being totally ignored made me think it was doing crappily. Still. Melua=badness.
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Post by Nadiasaysdntcopyme on Jul 21, 2004 11:31:12 GMT -5
The fact that she attended the BRIT school is enough for me to dislike her. Oh yeah the giant hair.
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Post by linus on Jul 21, 2004 22:54:29 GMT -5
I got fed up with KM when she kept on appearing on the music channels with that advert last year.
In the advertisement for her "Crazy" song there is a shot of her foot - it looks like a hobbit's foot without the hair!
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spikeydude
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Post by spikeydude on Jul 22, 2004 16:29:52 GMT -5
'closest thing to crazy' is just such a cringey song for some reason, can't quite put my finger on it, but it is just so....naff
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mvx
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Post by mvx on Jul 23, 2004 17:07:07 GMT -5
Line them up, all of them, everyone mentioned in this thread. Stand them on their own personal coffee table, in their own little wallpapered lift. Leave. Forget ever existed. Put on other music.
All's well in the world.
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MoondialSlater
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Post by MoondialSlater on Jul 23, 2004 17:12:24 GMT -5
Line them up, all of them, everyone mentioned in this thread. Stand them on their own personal coffee table, in their own little wallpapered lift. Leave. Forget ever existed. Put on other music. All's well in the world. Send rather crowded lift to 37th floor. Put Girls Aloud at the bottom. Cut cable.
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Splendid*
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Post by Splendid* on Jul 23, 2004 20:21:27 GMT -5
Never one to swim with public opinion, but I must admit that I have a soft spot for Katie (and a hard one if she's interested). Admittedly trying to decipher anything approaching a tune in any of her songs is something that has baffled the nations top musical experts.
However, call me shallow if you will, but I think Katie is shagadelic and along with Ms Tweedy possesses the bestest smile in pop. I simply can't bring myself to hate her for something so 'trivial' as her music.
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Keaty
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Post by Keaty on Jul 24, 2004 7:40:19 GMT -5
'closest thing to crazy' is just such a cringey song for some reason, can't quite put my finger on it, but it is just so....naff It's because you can imagine her sitting on a bale of straw belting it out to a West End audience. Seriously, it sounds like something straight out of a musical.
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Post by Monkey on Jul 26, 2004 5:51:14 GMT -5
When her album was first advertised on TV me & My mate thought it was a joke - that is how bad....but it gets worse! Heard a radio ad for her new song and thought it was a jingle for a breakfast show! She is the MOST irritating person!
And she murdered Love Cats!
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digitalrogue
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Post by digitalrogue on Jul 26, 2004 5:58:41 GMT -5
Another one of these well marketed, reedy-voiced, overplayed, badly lyricised pseudo-jazz cunts. For once I have nothing intellectual (as if I ever do) to add...
Stop polluting my airwaves!
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Post by MilkMonitor on Jul 28, 2004 12:33:29 GMT -5
You say all that, but look at her.
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Post by PushTheBuena on Jul 28, 2004 12:52:59 GMT -5
That's your defence for everything!
But a big DAMN to the second picture. If only we could put her on mute.
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Splendid*
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Give these guys an oscar!
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Post by Splendid* on Jul 28, 2004 18:01:45 GMT -5
well marketed, reedy-voiced, overplayed, badly lyricised pseudo-jazz cunts. Katie is a multiplatinum selling well marketed, reedy-voiced etc.....if you please. Anyway, I suspect The Melua has a very lovely cunt.
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Jonny
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Post by Jonny on Jul 29, 2004 6:03:53 GMT -5
You say all that, but look at her. She is lovely. She was just on the news and she is, as Ms Milk says, dreamy. However, she was on the news talking about how people got sick of manufactured bands when this jazz-wankfest is just as manufactured. While she is responsible for lame music and talks shit about how she's 4real, she makes up for it by looking pretty. I'm shallow enough to be suckered by that sort of thing. Melua makes bad music and is self-righteous to the point of delusion, she is pretty and she isn't Jamie Cullum. Not enough attention is put onto those last two points.
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