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Post by costas on Sept 2, 2004 16:36:54 GMT -5
I'm shocked 'n' stunned that JK and Joel haven't yet had a mention in this section, so allow me to kick it off.
Before the August Bank Holiday, I'd only heard their debut show on Radio 1. It was dreadful, but I let it pass because they were probably nervous, young etc. I'm a benevolent chap, see. Yeah, that show was all tedious stories and tiresome forced wackiness. "Meh, it'll pass", I thought.
Then I heard them for a whole day on the second 'Ten Hour Takeover' last Monday. Jesus H Corbett. Imagine if the Chuckle Brothers had swapped all their jokes for a copy of Now 58 and a subscription to Heat. They were the worst thing I've heard on Radio 1 since movie dullard James King made it possible to be bored shitless by a smug sneering media student without having to go to university.
I can't quite pin down what makes them so awful. Maybe it's the way that every one of their links sounds as spontaneous as the speaking clock deciding to suddenly throw in the old 'At the third stroke' line. Maybe it's the way that they clearly see themselves as the new Ant and Dec when, in reality, they're the new Little and Cannon. Maybe it's the way that their 12 year-old jabbering sounds more suited to a tinpot commercial station. Listen to their voices; You can almost hear them trying to stop themselves from yelping "It's a big Bryan Adams Winning Weekend in association with Talbot Timber, Basingstoke's number one timber-merchant, don't forget your cue-to-call, you could be in the draw to win one of those ten fabulous planks. Coming up next we've got Dido, Daniel Bedingfield and a high-school hit from the Pointer Sisters. Keep it locked on"
Throughout the day, a 'Takeover' thread was running on PJ. We had a good natter on it, and the conversation regularly turned to "These two are shit". Lo and behold, the next day their shitness was reported on the front page of PJ.
I know Radio 1 is obsessed with becoming the station of choice for every souped-up Vauxhall Nova in the country, but I'm sure it doesn't mean they have to employ the sort of people who drive them. The sooner they get promoted to Saturday night TV, turn to drink after someone dies in their pool and then vanish (save for a slightly creepy stage show and a bargain-bin autobiography), the better.
Someone should tell Topshop FM where these two have escaped to.
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fee
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Post by fee on Sept 3, 2004 4:48:05 GMT -5
count yourself lucky you don't live in the north west, where we've had to suffer their slimy smug faces grinning out from billboards on and off for years...
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flufff
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Post by flufff on Sept 3, 2004 7:45:04 GMT -5
I had been trying to ignore them/erase them from my memory, but they are both clowns and idiots and a number of other things.
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klee
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Post by klee on Sept 3, 2004 8:14:31 GMT -5
They sound like muppets.
That is all.
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Post by Annette on Sept 4, 2004 18:26:34 GMT -5
Someone should tell Topshop FM where these two have escaped to. Oh come on, Topshop FM is far too good for them, more like Poundland Radio! |
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Post by costas on Sept 5, 2004 10:29:54 GMT -5
Oh come on, Topshop FM is far too good for them, more like Poundland Radio! Haha, fair point! "You're listening to the JK and Joel Show, right here on Odds-and-Ends-FM, official in-store radio station for the scummy temporary plasticware store for poor people." "That's right! Don't forget all this week we've got amazing discounts on stackable plastic boxes, scrawny-looking mops, cream-cleaner that looks a bit like Jif but isn't, cans of Coke with Arabic writing on and laminated posters of Gareth Gates and wrestlers that were famous five years ago." "Cool! Coming up next, Jentina" "Great, I love her new single!" "Er, no, I mean her shift starts after lunch. She'll be on Till 3 once she's finished her cigarette and her boyfriend's given her the regulation love-bite" |
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adam
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Post by adam on Sept 11, 2004 8:22:33 GMT -5
One of the pair just said that they HATE Simon Amstell and he looks like a rodent with a big nose.
Enough said.
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Post by TheGrolly on Sept 12, 2004 15:58:31 GMT -5
Costas, you are a GENIUS. I almost pissed myself at your comments.
You do wonder what Radio 1 were thinking hiring those two. I thought their hospital radio quota was already met by the presence of Scott Mills.
Bring back Coxy!
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Post by TheGrolly on Sept 12, 2004 16:00:13 GMT -5
...Although, on second revision of the topic, anyone who openly hates Simon Amstell must be applauded.
*prepares for merciless stoning*
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Post by VixenKate on Sept 14, 2004 16:54:07 GMT -5
count yourself lucky you don't live in the north west, where we've had to suffer their slimy smug faces grinning out from billboards on and off for years... On Key 103 or was it Galaxy? |
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fee
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Post by fee on Sept 15, 2004 4:45:02 GMT -5
I think it was Key 103 if memory serves...
In fact it definitely was.
They're not street enough for Galaxy.
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Post by ElectricBarbarella on Sept 16, 2004 14:05:31 GMT -5
Long before the days of Radio 1 and Key 103 (about ten years ago), Joel (the fatter one) was a dj at my local radio station. He was never very good, although he did used to let me sit in the studio. I was 12, it was exciting at that age.
He got sacked from the station for persistent lateness! And went on to become a bingo caller on the seafront for a short while before somehow being picked up to go on Viking Fm, and the rest as they say is history.
Oh by the way Joel's real surname is Hogg, he hates it. So if you do ever have a spare moment and fancy emailing him and calling him Hoggy. Please do.
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Post by PopPony: Bored in Canada on Oct 1, 2004 13:00:58 GMT -5
I work with Paul Lockett's Neice. If you're from round here that's a claim to fame. And you'll probably have heard the rumours about one of them suddenly becoming less camp when they got a primetime slot. I'm just hoping Radio 1 don't rope Nicksy, Lindsay and Irish Alan in for their drive time massive! They curdle my milk.
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Post by fatmancunian on Oct 17, 2004 9:09:49 GMT -5
I work with Paul Lockett's Neice. If you're from round here that's a claim to fame. And you'll probably have heard the rumours about one of them suddenly becoming less camp when they got a primetime slot. I'm just hoping Radio 1 don't rope Nicksy, Lindsay and Irish Alan in for their drive time massive! They curdle my milk. God I hate these tits!!!! Except Lynsey...who's lovely!! |
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Post by Lostinyou on Oct 23, 2004 13:31:09 GMT -5
Stupid bastards. Was anyone in B'ham for tickets to their One Big Weekend? Someone pushed Joel into a bin! WOO!
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Post by toby3000 on Oct 24, 2004 17:05:28 GMT -5
I don't listen to radio one anymore, since the DJs have gone so far down hill....besides the horror that is JK and Joel, there's Scott Mills, Wes...Mark and Lard have gone, Coxys on maternity, Chris Moyles is getting dull and repetiative. They need some good people who don't sound like 13 year olds, and who don't script every bloody link. At least Jo Whiley's still there.
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Post by Twixy on Oct 26, 2004 3:04:16 GMT -5
Stupid bastards. Was anyone in B'ham for tickets to their One Big Weekend? Someone pushed Joel into a bin! WOO! Meee! They pushed him into a dustbin? Oh my goodness, how sad! I actually quite like them. Even though I listen to Kerrang FM a lot more, now. :: scampers off :: |
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Post by MilkyMilky on Nov 15, 2004 9:15:56 GMT -5
Arent JK and Joel just younger, crapper versions of Mark and Lard but minus any humour or talent??!!
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Greg
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Post by Greg on Nov 15, 2004 9:37:10 GMT -5
Arent JK and Joel just younger, crapper versions of Mark and Lard but minus any humour or talent??!! Or charisma. Or music taste. |
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Post by MilkyMilky on Nov 16, 2004 12:59:11 GMT -5
They do have the faces for radio tho so ive heard.
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Post by Netcentricity on Dec 4, 2004 2:25:50 GMT -5
Now, for some terrible reason, I believe that my home town (it's actually a city, but that didn't stop it being elected the "Worst Place to Live" in "Crap Towns" (fab book, go out and buy it)) has something to do with the JK & Joel pairing.
Was on a bus (we have a fantastic temporary bus system in place since our terrible station has knocked down - it's a game in itself given that nobody is quite sure where to get on a bus heading to a particular destination) the other day and saw a poster for one of our clubs (you're probably thinking I mean a super-club with a huge dancefloor spreading over several acres, what I mean is a pub with a dancefloor) advertising the "Return of Hull's Own Radio One DJs JK & Joel.
I apologise to the rest of the nation.
Oh, incidentally, Roxanne Cooper switched on some Christmas Lights in Hull (not the main ones, mind you, but the ones down a main road, she is such a celeb!).
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Post by costas on Dec 8, 2004 6:54:38 GMT -5
the "Return of Hull's Own Radio One DJs JK & Joel. Eeek. Is that 'Return' in the Marks and Spencer sense, i.e. "Hello, I'd like to return these shit DJs please, it said on the box that they'd breath new life into my radio station but when I tried to use them they just jabbered over each other with a succession of uninteresting stories, 'zany stunts' and unlistenable cuntery. Pardon? Yes, that's right, I was in here last week trying to return that Wes you sold me as well. Look, can I just have a refund? No, I don't want to exchange them for something from your Pisspoor-Flavour-Of-The-Month-Local-DJs-Got-Lucky range. OK, I'll take the vouchers."? |
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if
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Post by if on Dec 8, 2004 11:06:10 GMT -5
I have yet to hear them but now that they're going to be given the chart show (eek) it's only a matter of time
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Post by costas on Dec 26, 2004 13:33:55 GMT -5
Crumbs, did you see these two on Channel 4's 'Top 100 Christmas Moments'? One of them appears to have a head made entirely of pig-fat.
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