monsta
Punter
Dazzler - If Tina Cousins was a mutant.
Posts: 567
|
Post by monsta on May 15, 2005 14:11:56 GMT -5
I fear I have some sort of illness. I buy The Sun religiously just to marvel at the ineptitude of this Stars In Their Eyes Alice Cooper.
Every week she seems to have a new campaign to make the world a better place - the latest being her 'Buy Britney a Bra!' nonsense. Now don't even get me started on her massive contradictions regarding Madame Federline - 'Britneys a twat but shes one of my fave celebs ever etc'.
Shes single handedly,or so she claims, responsible for inflicting Amarillo on us, rallied round to get Chesney Hawkes a record deal even though he already had one and packed her 'mate' Matt Jay/Willis/Whatever off to rehab with her hilarious Beer Matt section.
I can't bear to look at those photos of her 'chilling out' with the likes of Bono wearing her strange neckwear and Goth-lite make up.
She is a cunt. Who was it that proposed a chimp with a typewriter could eventually come up with the complete works of Shakespeare? I take it they never came across the Bizarre column.
|
|
|
|
Post by veryjammy on May 15, 2005 15:13:28 GMT -5
I dont think PJ likes us talking about this insult to music and showbiz journalism but nevertheless I always have time to insult her - she truly is a shockingly strange looking woman, I feel horribly embarrassed for her when she has all these pictures taken with celebs and she looks so smug but looks like shit.
I can't believe how deluded she is though, she's fickle and actually believes she wields some influence. She urged everyone to buy DJ Casper's 'brilliant' Cha Cha Slide which got beaten to number one by Toxic. She suddenly became a huge fan of Britney and urged everyone to keep Toxic at number 1. Unsurprisingly DJ Casper was number 1 the next week. This sort of thing happens all the time with her, she is an absolute cunt.
|
|
MoondialSlater
Punter
Why ain't you looking now you BASTARDS.
Posts: 522
|
Post by MoondialSlater on May 15, 2005 15:17:36 GMT -5
I assume she'd like us to forget the less successful campaign concerning "Please Release Me."
|
|
beNcooKe
Punter
a friend for dinner
Posts: 506
|
Post by beNcooKe on May 16, 2005 3:12:10 GMT -5
So she's had campaigns to defend 'Cha Cha Slide' and Amarillo.
Who could possbly defend her now...
And what next? This week will probably see her 'campaigning' for people to buy the crazy bloody frog!
|
|
|
|
Post by costas on May 16, 2005 6:54:51 GMT -5
The 'Please Release Me' campaign was hilarious. Just after she announced she'd be campaigning for it to be re-released, the good folk at Holy Moly pointed out that record company responsible had been planning to re-release it for weeks. Funny, that - A song in an advert being released as a single. Who'dathunkit?
Presumably she gets the release schedule in advance, so if she knew it was coming out then... Well, anyway, I look forward to tomorrow's exciting new Newton Campaign:
"Make Wednesday a SUN-day! Join my campaign to get the sun to come up tomorrow! Simply stand outside at 5am on Wednesday morning and shout "COME UP, SUN!!!" If enough of my readers do this, hopefully the sun will bow to the pressure of Newton and rise into the sky, proving that I'm the most influential gossip-columnist in the world today"
|
|
|
|
Post by drbastard on May 16, 2005 7:01:56 GMT -5
Victoria Newton gets it wrong constantly.
Remeber her 'Jentina is going to be massive, she's the UK Missy Elliot' crap? That quickly faded away once Bad Ass Strippa flopped.
I just can't stand the woman, she needs to get a better bra that can lift up her sagging cleavage.
|
|
Booers
Punter
Woah bodyform, bodyformed for you
Posts: 619
|
Post by Booers on May 16, 2005 7:09:22 GMT -5
I remember her 'revealing' that Britney was number 1 in the midweeks with Everytime and proclaimed she couldn't understand why as she thought it was crap, yet when Britney didn't get a BRIT nomination she said it was an outrage after she'd had number 1 singles with two of the best songs of the year. She's full of crap that woman.
|
|
|
|
Post by drbastard on May 16, 2005 7:23:59 GMT -5
Oh God Yes!
I remember that as well. She's such a drab old bag, she really is and she can't get it right at all. A bit like Geri, really.
|
|
|
|
Post by kurtwild on May 16, 2005 8:00:33 GMT -5
She really freaks me out when I see her. Dyed black hair with ginger eyebrows is never a good look.
Her minions are as shit as she is. They ran that hoax sotry about Eminem signing some rapper from Scunthorpe to his label and about how he was "going to be massive" without checking any single fact about it.
|
|
beNcooKe
Punter
a friend for dinner
Posts: 506
|
Post by beNcooKe on May 16, 2005 8:08:18 GMT -5
What pisses me off about Ms Newton is her grudge she seems to have against Pete Burns (Dead or Alive frontman). At any possible chance to have a dig at his plastic surgery from some cheap pappo pic she lays into him big style. She's hardly a spring chicken is she? Bitter old hag.
|
|
|
|
Post by greyhag on May 16, 2005 14:23:58 GMT -5
Yeah, VN is amazingly annoying.
I love it when she gets wind of some new indie release, puts a little 'Watch out for so and so this year, they'll be huge!' and then if they are a hit, she's all 'I predicted they'd be big all the way back in March!'.
That semi-goth needs learning.
|
|
|
|
Post by veryjammy on May 16, 2005 14:43:10 GMT -5
She really is odd regarding Britney, I think she may be a schizophrenic. After the first night of the Onyx Hotel Tour she said she thought it was brilliant and that it would convert Xtina fans. And then when the miming row started she went on about what a disgrace it was etc.....it's hard to think of specific examples when there have been so many, but she is a bandwagon jumping nobody.
|
|
Ella
Punter
Posts: 71
|
Post by Ella on May 17, 2005 7:54:57 GMT -5
Shes a cunt. Thats all there is to it.
|
|
monsta
Punter
Dazzler - If Tina Cousins was a mutant.
Posts: 567
|
Post by monsta on May 17, 2005 13:19:55 GMT -5
Her latest news is that Oasis release Hey Mona today (wasn't that yesterday?) and are up against Hallihell's Desire. Apparently shes going to keep us updated on this race to No 1. Can anyone else spot the mistake?
I almost forgot about her bipolar ways towards Victoria Beckham. Does anyone recall her hate filled rants about how stupid,ugly and talentless Posh was? This was coupled with her apparently being a shit mother and wife.
The next week The Rebecca Loo's caper came out and in a special page long 'Newton's Theory' the imbecile pens a fawning ode to Victoria saying how gorgeous and talented she is, that none of this is fault and that we, as a nation, should be ashamed of ourselves for persecuting her.
I think someone needs their Lithium.
|
|
flufff
Punter
Guess what Jamie?!!!!!!!!!
Posts: 836
|
Post by flufff on May 17, 2005 14:11:15 GMT -5
Don't forget her telling us that Britney was encouraging the youth of today to commit suicide and we were all supposed to email her to tell her just how outraged we were with it. She got outraged emails alright!
|
|
MoondialSlater
Punter
Why ain't you looking now you BASTARDS.
Posts: 522
|
Post by MoondialSlater on May 17, 2005 17:20:15 GMT -5
The next week The Rebecca Loo's caper came out and in a special page long 'Newton's Theory' the imbecile pens a fawning ode to Victoria saying how gorgeous and talented she is, that none of this is fault and that we, as a nation, should be ashamed of ourselves for persecuting her. The best part about that one was that the newspaper that broke the story of Rebecca Loos & David Beckham was the Sun's sister paper the News Of The World. Victoria Newton got so into backing Victoria that during this speech she edged towards slagging off the paper owned by the same people that pay her wages. |
|
|
|
Post by drbastard on May 18, 2005 6:15:28 GMT -5
Her latest news is that Oasis release Hey Mona today (wasn't that yesterday?) and are up against Hallihell's Desire. Apparently shes going to keep us updated on this race to No 1. Can anyone else spot the mistake. Never underestimate the lengths Geri's psycho fans will go to get her to #1. It wouldn't surprise me at all if SpiceBoy buys all the copies at his local HMV. |
|
if
Punter
Posts: 59
|
Post by if on May 18, 2005 8:01:11 GMT -5
Never underestimate the lengths Geri's psycho fans will go to get her to #1. It wouldn't surprise me at all if SpiceBoy buys all the copies at his local HMV. I'm not sure that they'll go to such lengths as to manage to get it to number one two weeks before it's been released though. |
|
VictoriaNewton
Punter
Popjustice Almighty
Do you like my big pearl necklace? Dominic Mohan gave it to me....
Posts: 15
|
Post by VictoriaNewton on Jun 11, 2005 18:17:34 GMT -5
I fear I have some sort of illness. I buy The Sun religiously just to marvel at the ineptitude of this Stars In Their Eyes Alice Cooper. Every week she seems to have a new campaign to make the world a better place - the latest being her 'Buy Britney a Bra!' nonsense. Now don't even get me started on her massive contradictions regarding Madame Federline - 'Britneys a twat but shes one of my fave celebs ever etc'. Shes single handedly,or so she claims, responsible for inflicting Amarillo on us, rallied round to get Chesney Hawkes a record deal even though he already had one and packed her 'mate' Matt Jay/Willis/Whatever off to rehab with her hilarious Beer Matt section. I can't bear to look at those photos of her 'chilling out' with the likes of Bono wearing her strange neckwear and Goth-lite make up. She is a cunt. Who was it that proposed a chimp with a typewriter could eventually come up with the complete works of Shakespeare? I take it they never came across the Bizarre column. Let me take this point by point. Stars in their Eyes Alice Cooper? Was that her that was in Fleetwood Mac in the 1980s? Buy Britney a Bra Campaign - This was a low point, I admit, however I'd like to see what other people could come up with when the only stories around that day were Busted splitting up, Charlotte Church beating up her ex boyfriend and Elton John slagging off my good friend Madonna. I had to come up with SOMETHING for God sake. And Britney got a couple of nice underwires out of it. From Marks as well. Inflicting Amarillo? Inflicting? Amarillo is still hilarious and I am campaigning for Record of the Year and a Brits Best Single next year. Inflicting? Tell that to the starving kiddies I have single handedly saved with Amarillo. Matt Jay was an unfortunate case. Ending up in The Priory after trying to maintain the image I created, well, he was the monster to my Frankenstein (which funnily enough is Dom Mohan's nickname for me) and it got out of control. His solo stuff is amazing and he is the next Robbie Williams. Look how right I was about Ben Adams being the new Justin Trousersnake. That one still slays me..... Bono? Ya, I hang with Bono sometimes. I was the force behind getting Bono on Live Aid 20 single last year and he has contacted me about taking on a large role in the upcoming Live 8 concerts. As Bizarre is the official column of The 2005 African Debt (TM) , I will be there at Hyde Park, in the hospitality tent, taking food orders. And as for a chimp writing Shakespeare - yes, OK, it could, but could it start a campaign about 'Is David Walliams Gay' and keep it dragging on for 3 months? I don't think so. An orangutan might be able to though. They're very good at the Newton's Theories. |
|
|
|
Post by puffpower on Jun 12, 2005 4:21:48 GMT -5
Her latest news is that Oasis release Hey Mona today (wasn't that yesterday?) and are up against Hallihell's Desire. Apparently shes going to keep us updated on this race to No 1. Can anyone else spot the mistake. Never underestimate the lengths Geri's psycho fans will go to get her to #1. It wouldn't surprise me at all if SpiceBoy buys all the copies at his local HMV. Alas my attempts were futile! I hate that woman. |
|
monsta
Punter
Dazzler - If Tina Cousins was a mutant.
Posts: 567
|
Post by monsta on Jun 12, 2005 12:06:11 GMT -5
I fear I have some sort of illness. I buy The Sun religiously just to marvel at the ineptitude of this Stars In Their Eyes Alice Cooper. Every week she seems to have a new campaign to make the world a better place - the latest being her 'Buy Britney a Bra!' nonsense. Now don't even get me started on her massive contradictions regarding Madame Federline - 'Britneys a twat but shes one of my fave celebs ever etc'. Shes single handedly,or so she claims, responsible for inflicting Amarillo on us, rallied round to get Chesney Hawkes a record deal even though he already had one and packed her 'mate' Matt Jay/Willis/Whatever off to rehab with her hilarious Beer Matt section. I can't bear to look at those photos of her 'chilling out' with the likes of Bono wearing her strange neckwear and Goth-lite make up. She is a cunt. Who was it that proposed a chimp with a typewriter could eventually come up with the complete works of Shakespeare? I take it they never came across the Bizarre column. Let me take this point by point. Stars in their Eyes Alice Cooper? Was that her that was in Fleetwood Mac in the 1980s? Buy Britney a Bra Campaign - This was a low point, I admit, however I'd like to see what other people could come up with when the only stories around that day were Busted splitting up, Charlotte Church beating up her ex boyfriend and Elton John slagging off my good friend Madonna. I had to come up with SOMETHING for God sake. And Britney got a couple of nice underwires out of it. From Marks as well. Inflicting Amarillo? Inflicting? Amarillo is still hilarious and I am campaigning for Record of the Year and a Brits Best Single next year. Inflicting? Tell that to the starving kiddies I have single handedly saved with Amarillo. Matt Jay was an unfortunate case. Ending up in The Priory after trying to maintain the image I created, well, he was the monster to my Frankenstein (which funnily enough is Dom Mohan's nickname for me) and it got out of control. His solo stuff is amazing and he is the next Robbie Williams. Look how right I was about Ben Adams being the new Justin Trousersnake. That one still slays me..... Bono? Ya, I hang with Bono sometimes. I was the force behind getting Bono on Live Aid 20 single last year and he has contacted me about taking on a large role in the upcoming Live 8 concerts. As Bizarre is the official column of The 2005 African Debt (TM) , I will be there at Hyde Park, in the hospitality tent, taking food orders. And as for a chimp writing Shakespeare - yes, OK, it could, but could it start a campaign about 'Is David Walliams Gay' and keep it dragging on for 3 months? I don't think so. An orangutan might be able to though. They're very good at the Newton's Theories. I stand corrected. You're still not as fit as even the ugliest 3am Girl though, are you? |
|
Dudie
Punter
What's not to like?
Posts: 685
|
Post by Dudie on Jun 12, 2005 13:07:44 GMT -5
She is in the picture she persists in using despite the fact that it is air-brushed and about 10 years out of date.
|
|
VictoriaNewton
Punter
Popjustice Almighty
Do you like my big pearl necklace? Dominic Mohan gave it to me....
Posts: 15
|
Post by VictoriaNewton on Jul 14, 2005 19:20:56 GMT -5
She is in the picture she persists in using despite the fact that it is air-brushed and about 10 years out of date. That picture is only 8 and a half years out of date. And don't talk to me about the 3am girls. That Jessica is a bitch. She's been there since the start of that column because she's got no life. Or boyfriend. Or cervix. And when did they ever champion legends like KT Tunstall like I did, long before the so called experts. Speaking of so called experts did you guys see my column Thursday. I gave the so called experts a real going over re James Blunt. I knew he'd be huge and I helped get him the publicity so you guys have V-New to thank for the James Blunt Phenomenon. And rumours that his song "You're Beautiful" was written about yours truly are not true you guys so stop emailing and saying you know it's me he's singing about! |
|
|
|
Post by krissykins on Jul 25, 2005 12:13:43 GMT -5
This Victoria Newton user is the best pisstake in weeks......
|
|
Dudie
Punter
What's not to like?
Posts: 685
|
Post by Dudie on Jul 25, 2005 13:20:47 GMT -5
and it seems we've now got her to thank for the 'James Blunt phenomenon' (although I'm surprised she even can spell the word.
Gee thanks again Victoria and keep up the good work.
|
|
Madison
Punter
la disco a besoin de vous!
Posts: 441
|
Post by Madison on Nov 19, 2005 8:31:59 GMT -5
From The Sun Online
Re: Westlife
A festive hit with new track When You Tell Me That You Love Me would mean a record 14 consecutive No 1 singles for the lads.
Load of bollocks
|
|
|
|
Post by 97williamsb on Nov 19, 2005 16:16:28 GMT -5
Is this not the woman who said to watch out for Hilary Duff with Wake Up, like none of us had heard of her before.
And now she is backing the Sirens. Hmmm, wonder where they will chart. The rude, vile, tarts. Oh well, bit like Victoria herself. Songs shit too.
|
|
|
|
Post by auntieflo on Nov 19, 2005 18:31:12 GMT -5
She restarted her 'Buy Britney a bra' campaign again during the week...
|
|
|
|
Post by azura on Nov 20, 2005 8:31:09 GMT -5
Does anyone remember the ugly twat she replaced, Dominic Mohan? He was annoying with his campaigns, remember his "give One True Voice a Christmas number one campaign?". And like all his 'campaigns' it failed miserably. Plus his constant "they should scrap the singles chart" articles.
Then there's the 3AM Girls- three old, ugly tarts who think they're cool just because they slag of celebrities.
And I agree with all the negative comments about Victoria Newton. She really is an idiot. Claiming to "discover" acts who have been around for ages but haven't made the top 40. And it's ALWAYS after most people have started talking about them anyway. I wouldn't be surprised if their record companies paid the Sun to write about them. Then there was The Streets- Dry Your Eyes is a rip off'' fiasco. The guy who claimed he was the 'original' just used the same string sample, which has actually been used many times before. So he wasn't the 'original' either. He just wanted to get some much needed publicity and cash in on the fact The Streets were number one that week.
|
|
|
|
Post by audrey potnoodlehorne on Nov 20, 2005 17:00:22 GMT -5
Thanks to her brand of preposterous arse-about-face puritanical ramblings, I have been called a misogynist for liking Girls Aloud. Which is of course ridiculous, but no less annoying (I like women so much I actually am one). This one woman however makes me want to do extreme violence on her face. She is PURE EVIL.
|
|
