I would have read your myspace entry, but the ends of the lines were being cut off.
Oh, that's no good. Don't know why it would do that. I'll post it here then.
At the risk of sounding obnoxious, The Black Eyed Peas used to be cool, I tells ya. Back in '98 they were heralded as the next great thing in hip hop, placed on par with The Roots and A Tribe Called Quest, collaborating with the likes of The Jungle Brothers, and De La Soul.
To the untrained ear, it may seem that most of the songs taken from Monkey Business, their 4th and probably worst album, sound inventive. Reviewers on Amazon call it Diverse, surprising, an audio delight. Even the group claim that they are "fresh" and "def."
However, statistics prove that they've become much less original. 11/15 of the songs comprise of recycled samples and lyrics (As opposed to only 4/16 on their first album, Behind The Front). The remaining scraps are noisy, uninspired, lazy, repetitive lines of utter drivel. Just because you can rhyme a bunch of words together, does that mean you should fill a whole verse with them, then call yourself a rapper?
Could the album title possibly refer to the band in fact training monkeys from all over the world to write their lyrics? I'm not sure these questions will ever be answered.
So what happened to them? I could be slack and say that a recent addition ruined the band, and the original trio was distracted by her humps?
In 2003 the BEP family took on a new member: Fergie (Stacey Ferguson).
They made up some crappy story about them spotting her dancing at a show of theirs. Yeah right. Stacey is a former host of children's television show, 'Kids Incorporated', who later went on to join the mildly successful mid-90s all-girl R&B group, Wild Orchid, and then onto a methamphetamine addiction.
Perhaps adding a fit white chick to the line up could make group more marketable. Yeh, she looks ok, but I listen to music blindfolded and with a peg on my nose. Plus she is like, such a wannabe Gwen, totally. Remember "Joints n Jams", "Weekends"? Two truly party-inspired hippity hizzop anthems. Now compare them to "Shup Up" and "Don't Mess With My Heart". Cruddy, whiney Mcbubblepop that makes you feel like sawing your ears with a butter knife and hurling them at the TV.
Wikipedia claims that one reviewer refers to "Shut Up" as "The single most vacuous, pointless, vile and generally loathsome song in a generation." Now that's awesome!
I must admit, once on Channel[V] they played the "Don't Mess With My Heart" video for about 3 minutes with the laser stuck on the same spot and it sounded quite good.
Lacking artistic integrity the band, has changed song titles to widen their appeal to Mums across the globe. "Let's get retarded," a song about excessive drinking was re-released as "Let's get it Started" so it could be used in promotion for the 2004 NBA Playoffs. A move that surely earned them big bucks from NBC. More recently "Don't Phunk with My Heart" was changed for the US Radio release to "Don't Mess With My Heart" after suggestions that the song was actually about a necrophile.
Fergie has recently been made an official judge for the John Lennon Songwriting Contest. How that came about, not even God knows. Daft Punk can write better lyrics about love, and they're robots...aren't they? I guess you have to hear the song 'My Humps' for the irony to become apparent. Its the song from the BEPs latest cacophony of an album with the most input from Fergie, and its about her ass'n'titties (of course, not in those words, radio wouldn't play it otherwise), all she's really got going for her.
Check out the lyrics
here (just remember to turn your speakers down or else your ears will be raped by the infamous crazy frog).
"The principles of true hip hop have been forsaken; it's all contractual and about money making." (Black Thought of The Roots on "What They Do" 1996)
Perhaps the BEPs have created something new? Disposable MTV hip pop? Nah that's been around for ages. But they've certainly bumped it up another notch (BAM!), or is that down a notch? Either way, Its definitely a sad state of affairs when 2 BEP singles are nominated for Grammy's Best Rap Song Award in the same year.
Like J-Lo and P. Diddy before him, Will.i.am has launched his own line of clothing. It won't be long before they start appearing in films, video games, then split to persue solo careers. Don't laugh. 100% of this fauxprophecy has already occurred. Fergie is set to appear in a remake of The Poseidon Adventure alongside Kurt Russell and Richard Dreyfuss. It sounds like the kind of Blockbuster you'd camp out for, doesn't it? Taboo is working on a Spanish record and wants to get into acting. Will.i.am has featured on an episode of Joan Of Arcadia this year. The Group shared a cameo appearance in some film called 'Be Cool' (Never heard of it). They also have something to do with a computer game called The Urbz: Sims in The City.
“Step up your rep in the URbz game with the Black Eyed Peas Characters - It's all about reputation as The URBZ live the dream in a City that never sleeps.”Why can’t Snoop have his own video game where you modify your ‘64 Chevvy, smoke some indo and see how many hoes you can wax?
Right now the word sell is experiencing such an intense magnetic attraction to the word out, you can probably see it. The BEP Official Online Store stocks hoodies, tees, jerseys, caps, calendars, perhaps even some music! I can't see the official Will.i.am headband (which can double as the official Fergie boob tube) on there yet. There's some officially over-airbrushed photos make the bunch look like they've been gladwrapped.
Saving a few bytes on the site, the latest Poll question asks "Whats next 4 BEP gear?" Wristbands, Jackets, Beanies, Sweatsuits, Backpacks or Headbands. Awww, no Lady Fergie Moustache Remover? No BEP Home Pregnancy Test? I'm shocked. I'm confused. Because I'm reading an article on the official BEP website as we speak. On suggestions that the group have exchanged the cred they once might've had for record sales,
"We sold out," says Taboo (Jaime Gomez), the paler, almost grey-faced-pea. "We sold out a lot of arenas all over the world." Gomez even refers to the Black Eyed Peas as a "corporation". "We've also become a lot more business-oriented. Everybody is looking to invest from the earnings of Monkey Business. We're aiming to become more intuitive with the big picture; not just music - owning companies and investing money to have longevity in the game." Sounds like you've sold your soul there, matey.
It's all becoming so clear now. So, by concentrating less on the music they can spend more time earning money. I guess that explains why The Black Eyed Peas' latest is so phunking terrible!!
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